Why body? Why?!

So I stopped spotting, bleeding, etc. on Tuesday. Or so I thought. Started spotting again yesterday (Friday). Today, spotting, but heavier, with some clots thrown in. Cramping is more severe. I was ecstatic to not have the constant reminder of miscarriage, but here we are again.

I have no clue what is going on, if it's "normal", if I should call the doctor (I might, depending on what's going on on Monday). I asked my fellow pharmer moms on a Facebook group. Responses varied on the duration of bleeding, severity, etc. Some also said they ended up needing a D&C because the bleeding lasted so long.

I wish all of this was more predictable, more standard, more teachable. I hate that my doctor didn't give me information regarding some of this, but as I go through it, I'm starting to realize it probably is very individualized in what exactly happens. As people say no pregnancy is the same, the pharm moms are saying no miscarriage is the same (even the same person with multiple miscarriages). I hate that the information I do find is mostly individual reports based off experience, but I think now that this information may be that way because that's just how it is. Generalizing these experiences as education points for those needing information doesn't work because they are all different.

I have to stay positive. Very ready for the reminders of miscarriage to not be so prevalent!


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Baby We Will Never See

March 18: It's finally Monday, the day we will see my doctor. My husband goes with me, as we realize it will likely not be great news. He knows I'll need the support. We are in the ultrasound room. My doctor (finally) enters the room, 45 minutes after we were brought back there. I'm okay with that. He takes his time with his patients, and I really appreciate that when I'm the patient that needs the time. He says he actually won't say I'm miscarrying yet. He says my labs went up "appropriately," stating it had to go up 1.67% from the last lab, not double as the other doctor had stated. I have this odd feeling of hope, although he sees my doubtful face and says, "I can tell you disagree." He asks how the bleeding has gone (spotting about every other morning) and if I'm cramping (yes, but not terribly, just a dull pain on lower front abdomen and lower back sometimes). He asks if I feel pregnant. (Breast tenderness went away the first day I s
Read more

Hormones

Throughout this process, especially initially, I was on an emotional rollercoaster. I had to recognize some of these emotions were triggered by the hormonal rollercoaster resulting from the miscarriage. I had to remind myself that postpartum depression probably could happen after a miscarriage. Since I suffered from PPD after my first, I self-reflected often. I spoke and showed my feelings. I didn't hide things I was thinking. I did that with my PPD. It made it so much worse. My husband is such a huge support. He saw the depression after my first. It took me eight months to truly recognize how bad it was. With the loss of pregnancy, I was very fearful the depression would come back.  I have good news. It's been 25 days since the actual miscarriage began (not the spotting, but the true bleeding). I think my hormones are cyclic again. I stopped spotting (again!) two days ago. The last time this happened, I had a two day break and was back to spotting. This time feels different.
Read more